If the Devil only Knew

Today is a day which I fast each week. I have been doing it for several months and it hasn’t been that bad. I usually pray all day and keep my mind on things above as opposed to things in front of me. It figures the devil would be tempting me during this discipline because my absolute favorite breakfast for the week, which is usually on Fridays, was moved to Thursdays. That’s okay because it just makes my fast mean so much more by giving up something I usually look forward to. Another one of those “if the devil only knew” scenarios. If he only knew that by tempting me to break my fast on Thursday’s only makes me more determined to persevere.
If the devil only knew that prison would bring the best out of me, not the worst. If the devil only knew that separating me from my family and friends would draw me closer to God. If the devil only knew that confinement would set me free. So many “if the devil only knew” scenarios and I’m thankful that we don’t know either. Not knowing is what makes us place our trust in the lord.
If we knew the outcome already, there would be no need for faith. “For faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” (Hebrews 11) We are called to walk by faith and not by sight.
I have no idea where I will be in the future, I have no idea what I will be doing upon release…and I’m not worried because one thing I do know and that is “all things work together for good to those who love God and are called according to His purpose.”
~~~IF THE DEVIL ONLY KNEW THAT PAIN IS THE FUEL OF PASSION~~~

HALL OF FAITH

So much talk the past few days about LeBron James going to Miami. No doubt, Lebron will be a future Hall of Famer. No doubt his hard work, dedication, and commitment has brought him to where he is today. This topic got me thinking about what it takes to be in the Hall of Fame for your sport. You must set yourself apart from the rest in one way or another. It takes sacrifice and discipline and not everyone can accomplish such a feat. I think it would be amazing to be in the Hall of Fame, such clout and notoriety.
Fortunately, I can think of another “Hall” I would like to be in that puts the Hall of Fame to shame---and that’s the Hall of Faith. What does it take to make the Hall of Faith? There are an abundance of faithful servants in the Bible who did amazing things for the kingdom, but in Hebrews Chapter 11, there is a list of the “Hall of Faithfuls,” who by faith stood out from the rest. By faith, Abraham obeyed….By faith Abel offered… By faith Noah prepared…By faith Moses forsook…each one has a true and historical background story and can be read about in more detail in their designated books in the Bible. One man stood out to me who made the “Hall of Faith” without a huge biography. In fact, he is only mentioned in the Bible in a handful of verses. What did this man named Enoch do in life to be mentioned in the Hall of Faith? And on top of that, he never experienced death. I’ll tell you, “By faith Enoch was taken away so that he did not see death, and was not found because God had taken him, for before he was taken, he had this testimony, that pleased God. (Hebrews 11:5-6) That’s it? By faith, Enoch had this testimony, that he pleased God. All he did was walk with God? No great boat to his credit, no son offered for sacrifice, no waiting 40 years….what a beautiful truth to read. Enoch had his testimony and he pleased God. This is such an encouragement when you think you are not big enough to make a statement. When you feel as if God has only given you a little task to work on, take heart for He only requires that we please him with our testimony. By faith, Enoch had a testimony…..
People out there may hate me, people out there may not understand me, and people out there may not respect me……but I have a testimony and by faith I will declare it. Like Enoch, we need to be in agreement with God and walk with Him by faith.
~~~CAN TWO WALK TOGETHER, UNLESS THEY ARE AGREED?” Amos 3:3
Time to listen to more ranting about LeBron. I heard soccer camp went well. Anthony runs a tight ship—Praise God.

Puzzled

As always, another relaxing Sunday. Some beautiful truths during the morning TV church services about putting actions behind your faith. After morning rec, I did some reading and writing, until I was interrupted to read something. Little did I know that I would spend the next few hours trying to figure "it" out. The only thing that stopped me from going crazy with it was the World Cup final-- which I had to watch Spain win!
I swear, I couldn't stop thinking about the "Hidden Books of the Bible" and upon the soccer game ending, I resumed my mission to complete the task. I found 15 of the 16 and I am hoping someone can find the 16th hidden book. Please let me know! Here is the objective, called the "Hidden Books of the Bible". This is really interesting, but kind of hard. There are names of 16 books of the Bible mentioned in the paragraph below. A minister found 15 books in 20 minutes, but it took him weeks to find the 16th one. The books I found are capitalized, but I still can't find one....
I once made a reMARK about the hidden books of the Bible. It was a luLU KEpt people looking. So hard for fACTS....and for others it was a REVELATION. Some were in a jam, especially since the names of the books were not capitalized. But the tRUTH finally struck home to NUMBERS of our readers. To others it was a real JOB. We want it to be A MOSt fascinating moment for you. yES THERe will be some really easy ones to spot. Others may require JUDGES to help them. I will quickly admiT IT Usually takes a minister to find some of them, and there will be loud LAMENTATIONS, when it is found. A little lady says sHE BREWS a cup of tea so she can concentrate better. See how well you can comPETE. Relax now, for there are really sixteen names of books in this paragraph.
That's it! The one's I found are in caps and I can't find the 16th book. Very mind twisting.
~~~DO NOT BELIEVE WHAT YOUR CIRCUMSTANCES ARE TELLING YOU~~~

Whats your Angle?

"Premeditation" is a heck of a word in our legal system. In prison, there are several individuals who have committed "premeditated acts." I have heard this word used many times and it's never in a good context. In prison, "premeditated inmates" are those who "play the angles", meaning: the inmate already has the desired end-result figured out long before he begins to "work a specific angle or strategy." For example: I've witnessed inmates initiate friendships with other inmates based exclusively on their "new friend's" release date. In this situation, the only desired outcome is inheriting the personal belongings of the inmate who is leaving. Traditionally, when an inmate is released, these items are left behind for fellow inmates in your circle. A "premeditated act" such as this one requires at least a week and quite often several weeks to plot out. Actions that are calculated in advance (with a specific, undisclosed outcome in mind) are often devious in nature and ultimately self-serving.
This really got me thinking about the level of determination we as human beings exhibit when we really want a specific result, reward or outcome in the end. It's crazy to think about the amount of time, energy, and brainpower we expend trying to orchestrate in advance some sort of personal benefit or gain; it is nothing more than selfish ambition. If we adopted the very same firmness of purpose and applied it within the boundaries of God's will, how much more would be accomplished? (For the good!)
Observing certain behaviors in prison is teaching me a lot about human nature. When our minds are really set on something, we push beyond obstacles with deliberate intent and do whatever it takes to ensure our plan is carried out.
I am convinced as I move forward that it is definitely possible to be a positive, "premeditated person." Anything I design, ponder, or deliberate for God's purposes will inevitably direct me to the right path and enable me to fulfill His perfect plan for my life. God takes good pleasure in seeing His plan carried out for higher purposes; most of which we may never understand until we are with Him in Eternity.
~~~~What angles are we playing in our own lives toward God's good and perfect plan?~~~~~~

Uplifting Letter

It’s noontime on the Tier. Already had morning rec and it was 85 degrees and then all of a sudden it started to pour out. It rained for about 30 minutes, but it felt good. Everybody just continued to work out during the downpour without skipping a beat. The sun eventually peaked out through the clouds and started to dry up our soaking wet clothes. I got back onto the tier into the high humidity. The large fan which circulates air is apparently broken because of the circuit breaker. It feels like a garage or yard shed on a hot summer day, no breeze and muggy.
It is what it is though. Not too much left to do on today except another rec at 5:30, probably will read and write all day. Still moving forward and still motivated through several encouraging things. It’s such a blessing to receive an encouraging letter from the outside, but today I am going to share an uplifting letter I received from the inside. The letter was addressed to both Jay and I based on this inmate’s observations and interactions. The following is a portion of the letter sent to us.
To Jayson and Matt,
“Where to begin. Sometimes in life the consequences of your decisions take you to places that you could have never fathomed you’d be. And once in a while, you can get shown the light in the strangest of places, if you look at it just right. There you can turn a negative into something extraordinarily positive. That’s how I view my world today, through eyes that see past the bad and accentuate the positives. I see both of you as saviors of sort, angels, as redemption for me. And not just because you are helping others, but I see that by helping others, you are really helping yourself get though this in your own way. To deal with this maelstrom of ignorance and helplessness that surrounds us all. You both are doing a noble act and should be proud of yourselves. I want to join the party. What should I bring? That’s funny that you said in the yard: resourcefulness, adaptability, intelligence, education, life experience, family support, precise/articulate/concise thinking, good looks (see humor) and most of all, someone who is willing to do whatever it takes to make a difference. Sure I messed up, but my past doesn’t define who I am today and who I can be tomorrow.
We all have our own story, some better than others. You have both lived special types of lives. Jayson’s in the eyes of the media more only because of the way money sells sports, but Matt on persistency and patience, both of you did what you loved. My heart is in the right place as well as my head…”

Dodged a BULLET

Talk about dodging a bullet, JJ is back from lock up. No charges and all allegations cleared up. It was unbelievable and his face was brighter than ever. I am so relieved; he is back and will probably move back into my tier. God’s hand was on his life and I know he knows this. That was a wake-up call for a lot of people, and even for me, seeing how quickly things can change in prison and sometimes it’s too late. I thought I would never see that man again. Jay and I wrote him a letter and for some reason didn’t send it out yet. I’m gonna give him the sealed envelope to show him our sincere thoughts and what we wanted to say to him upon him leaving. He said he wrote us one too from lock-up, so we will see that later too. In the blink of an eye, so close. Thankful for this man and for the grace of God that rested on JJ. On another note, its 100 plus degrees today, probably close to 90 degrees in this brick over tier. No complaints on my end. God is good.
~~~~AT PEACE~~~~~~~~

What I AM

So, let’s see, according to the State, I am Inmate #####, but I know I am who I am….
Currently, I am property of the DOC at Mid State, but I know I am where I am….
My face sheet states that I am a violent offender, but I know I am what I am….
I am all of these things and they certainly can be found on the internet, but I am what I am by the grace of God….
“But by the grace of God I am what I am, and His grace toward me was not in vain, but I labored more abundantly than them all, yet not I, but by the grace of God which was with me.” I Corinthians 15:10
I did not ask for this, and I did not plan for this, but I caused this…. Now I’m embracing this, because I am who I am and I’m reaching my cause, by the grace of God…
My past will try to destroy my future and that is what it is….People will continue to talk, people will continue to hate, but no worries, because by the grace of God I am who I am and His grace will much more abound.
“Moreover the law entered that the offense might abound. But where sin abounded, grace abounded much more…Romans 5:20
One day at a time, no more and no less, because the grace of God is sufficient for me…
I am inadequate, but I am what I am, and the Lord’s strength is made perfect in my weakness by the grace of God…
“And He said to me. My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness…” IICorinithians 12:9
I did not bring anything but faith to the table and only by the grace of God.
I am able to get up from under affliction….
I am confined and I am where I am, but I will make it by grace…
“For the Lord is a sun and shield: the Lord will give grace and glory; no good thing will He withhold from them that walk uprightly.” Psalm 84:11