The God-given ability to choose. I chose to get up out of bed this morning at 5:30 AM before anyone else was up. I chose to walk to the back of the tier to pray and work out. When the lights blindly come on at 6:00 AM, I chose to smile instead of frown at the chaos that takes place at such an early hour. Some do not even stir, that's their choice. Many get dressed quickly and rush to mess call, only to return to bed to sleep; their choice, not forced. I choose to respond in detail to the several pieces of mail I receive daily. It was my choice to begin the day in the Word and devotionals; nobody can make that decision for me. Joy cometh in the morning, (Psalm 30:5) and it's my choice to embrace it. I hear of gossip and slander, things that are not true, but said out of envy, and it's my choice how I respond to them. Sometimes I fail in my response, out of anger, but I choose the response. Yard call announced, I choose to go out and work out. Tensions are high and competition turns threatening, my choice...no one else's. I choose to walk away.

I'm back on the tier now and there's nothing to do, the decision is mine: choose to lie down, choose to read a magazine with no meaning, choose to play cards or TV; I choose to read substance. The choice, I made it. A CO enters the tier and reprimands and degrades everyone for the smoke and other nonsense, many grumble and complain, I can join in, but I choose to continue reading. Lights turn off at 10:30 PM, I can retire to bed and attempt to fall asleep through the chaos, or I can flip out and tell those around me to quiet down...choices...I choose to close my eyes and talk to my Father. I thank Him for the ability to choose.

This environment will devour you, like Satan on the prowl (1 Peter 5:8). It will, if you allow it to. It's your choice. I control my choices daily and sometimes they are the wrong choices, but the beauty of a choice, a selection, an option, the power to decide, is that it's up to me. And the next time, I can make the right choice. No one can choose your attitude or how you respond to life's circumstances for you. I have the God-given ability to choose. I choose to be positive over negative. I choose purpose over perplexity. I choose being better over being bitter. I choose responsibility over irresponsibility. I choose faith over sight. I choose hope over despair.

~I choose the ‘God given ability of choices' over the enticement of the world's voice~

I messed up big time, I chose to recognize it and respond to it. We make choices every day. The choice was ours to make; no excuses...Lights are back on at 6:00 AM sharp, another day in prison. The choice is mine! I'm smiling, content.

Tested

Just one of those days. It was dreary outside, but cool, which helped the atmosphere on the tier. I went to morning rec and did soccer drills by myself on the basketball pavement. I usually only get about ten minutes in before someone comes over to talk about soccer. Today a new guy from Honduras came over to talk to me. He called me the soccer pro. He asked, “Why don’t you play with everyone at night rec?” “ Rumor has it that you’re no good and that’s why you don’t play.” I was taken back and shocked at his brutal honesty. A part of me, actually a majority of me, wanted to play everyone right then and there to prove myself. But that was just my pride creeping its way back in. I finished the conversation with him cordially, and we talked about teams we like. When I came back inside, one of my fellow tier mates told me some guys in the yard were talking about me, because I was doing soccer footwork. He said they were saying, “He thinks he’s too good and that’s why he doesn’t play with everyone.” (I swear this is the devil tempting and trying me, but the devil is a liar). I actually just laughed because when things are going well, and my thoughts are positive, turmoil tries to ruin my peace. The “old me” would have to prove everyone wrong, but the” new me” now realizes that I don’t have to prove myself to anyone. I can’t care what people say or think. The only one I need to impress through my actions is Jesus Christ. I NOW understand the importance of conducting myself honorably-- no matter what comes my way-- so that those who may speak evil about me, regardless of what they may say or think, can only observe my good works. It doesn’t matter who people say I am , it’s who God says I am. I am who I am by the grace of God.( I Peter 2:11)