Have you ever battled with anxiety or with trusting that God is always in control? Matt discusses the process of "hurry up and wait" in today's blog entry: http://ping.fm/0Xjtx

Matt reveals what caused his anxiousness before going to prison. Its not what you think. Find out at http://ping.fm/ypN1V

During a conversation with an inmate who is soon to be released, Matt can hardly believe his ears...Read more at http://ping.fm/T3bYX

Thoughts from the victim's family

Hort Kap was a father and husband who worked diligently to pave the way for each of his six children to have an education. He taught them love wasn’t just a word. He showed them by his actions. Hort Kap and his wife Sawann survived the KhmerRouge killing field in 1980. Hort helped his wife escape to a refugee camp. From there, the family was sent to the Philippines, then to the Bronx, New York, and eventually to Philadelphia. He was popular and liked within the Khmer community and always lent a hand to other refugees. Hort and Sawann have six children Somaly, 29, Savorn 28, Noun, 27, Linda, 25, David, 23, and Daniel, 18. He is survived by two grandchildren, a boy D’mear Tau Ung age 8, and a grandaughter Cierra Ung age 10. He has one grandchild on the way.

Somaly, Mr. Hort Kap's oldest daughter, writes about how Matt's reckless decision to drink and drive has affected her since the accident that claimed the life of her 55-year-old father. She writes: "That Friday March 6, 2009, was the day I last saw my dad alive. I was packing to spend a weekend at my sister's house with my son..."

Read more @
www.themattmaherstory.com

Stay Focused

Another hot day on the tier, but I was blessed to be able to go to my classroom for work in the a.m. hours where it is air conditioned. Work was slow, so I was able to write for about an hour. After work, I hung out on the tier and finished Book V Among the Gods. It's a very good series, a historical fiction based on the bible times. This afternoon, I watched the State Movie, Avatar.It was my first time watching the State Movie, which they play a different one every day.
Nothing too crazy and it was actually a boring day. Tomorrow is already Friday, and I'm not sure who is coming this weekend for a visit. Monday through Friday flies by, but Saturday and Sunday crawl because there is not much movement in the prison. There's nothing that gets your mind racing more than boredom in prison, especially on the weekends. When there is nothing to do, and nowhere to go, it's very easy to lose focus. Instead of keeping your eyes on the goal, the boredom causes your mind to run rampant, mostly thinking outside these walls causing negative thoughts.
At times, during the boring days, this happens and it is only when I begin to pray/talk to God in my head that I'm able to refocus on what's in front of me. What's in front of me rests the opportunity to re prioritize my entire life and grow in my relationship with Jesus. This requires focus at all times and even though the boring days are a dime a dozen, I am thankful every night when I rest my head to sleep for having these opposing concentrations.
I believe that it shows that my mind and heart are aware of the importance of staying focused. Each day that passes and thoughts of that day are different, boring or not, but each day ends the same way with nightfall; why waste your thoughts on the temporary when you can focus on the eternal. Staying focused, pressing forward.
I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus Phil. 3:14

Matt's mind begins to race and he starts to lose focus. Find out what happened at http://ping.fm/7I2P2

Golden Rule

I just realized that today is my brother Mike's 28th birthday. That's so crazy to me because my oldest brother John passed away at 28. I never realized how young that actually is, until I thought about how young I actually feel at 26. I guess when someone is older than you are, you naturally view them as old until you approach that age. Just crazy life thoughts.
I just had an unbelievable conversation with Jack that really aroused some good insights. We talked about trying to live so that everyone likes you. I compared that with treating everyone the way you would like to be treated. This is easier said than done in this environment for several reasons; a lot of these guys take kindness and generosity as weakness, and when you try to be liked by everyone, you are bound to run into some who just don't. We talked about certain inmates, who have absolutely zero respect for anyone around them and will take advantage of you in a second.
I deal with pretty much every single person in the entire tier, and Jack was asking how I put up with certain guys. My first month here, I would say I wouldn't put up with some inmates, but now I've realized that I can only control myself, my actions, and how I treat people. I can't control someone else's manners or disrespect, but I can be an example to them. I told him, I've found it easier to deal with these guys because when I do it unto the least of my brethren, I am doing it unto Jesus.
I've always tried to live my life so that everyone around me liked me. Then I would get upset when I would find out someone didn't. I realize we can't care what people, haters think about us. All we can do is control how we act and if someone doesn't like you, who cares? Treat people the way you would like to be treated and then move on. We shouldn't CARE how as long as we are acting in character reflecting Jesus. Not everyone even liked Him and His life was perfect. I said it before and I will say it again, Nay-sayers will always Nay. What do we know about living? I guess when we do it our way, it leads to death and destruction. We crucified the only One without sin. How backwards is that?
~~~For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life.~~~