God understands! You wanna know how I know He understands....because today I received a visit from someone on the complete other side of the spectrum.
This "Someone," is a father, who lost his daughter by the hands of a drunk driver. A man who did not know me or my family and was responding only to what he saw online and in the news, yet he saw clearly enough to look past my crime and into the purpose at hand.
I had no idea what to expect in the visit; nor did he; but we shared and connected because God understands. God understands that sometimes people are hurting so deeply that they cannot see or hear and they don't want to talk; God understands that many are overwhelmed with a tragedy or a loss that they don't know how to deal with it.
Without Christ, the pain can be too much to bear and many refuse to receive the healing from forgiveness. Yet, as God understands, so did my visitor. Today, with God's strength, this man expressed to me the importance of closure in so many of life's tragedies. He presented me with such encouragement to keep moving forward because the message is needed on both sides of tragedy.
Two different sides, bearing the consequences of an irresponsible decision and unexpected tragedy, coming together to share the character of the Almighty God: His love, His strength, and His forgiveness. God understands and my visitor did too. His comfort is always available and the gap can be bridged with any circumstance when we rely on Him.
Thank you George for your encouragement, support, and strength. Thank you for understanding, because God does too!
Hi Matt. Your blog was sent to me by an online sister in Christ who knew my story and had read yours and now I read your writing as often as I can.
ReplyDeleteMy son was shot on his 20th birthday.. On August 19th, (which would have been his 30th birthday), I traveled 7 hours to a Texas prison to meet the man who is responsible for my son's death.
Below is the blog that I wrote after I visited him. I share this with you to encourage you that you are making an eternal difference. There is no greater responsibility or privilege in the world.
Today was THE day. Monumental. Unforgettable. It is my oldest son's 30 birthday...but he was shot on this day 10 years ago and he died early the next morning. You can never really imagine how you will get through something like that, because your mind just can't wrap around something so horrific. But for the Grace of God, I survived burying my son, and in the past 10 years, I have seen fair share of mountaintops of faith and some of the darkest valleys possible.
Alex. He is serving a 47 year sentence in Texas for taking Justin's life. Today I entered the Maximum Security Prison to meet him face to face and I talked to him for 5 hours straight, within arms reach.
Everyone who knows me, understands that the decision for me to meet Alex on this particular date was something I have been preparing long and hard for. I forgave Alex 10 years ago at the sentencing, but I NEEDED to see him today to find out what he plans to do with the rest of his life.
God was way ahead of me...and I recognized His Presence by the gracious way I was treated in this "maximum security prison" where rules are RULES and not to be broken.
Alex was waiting for me, shackled and in chains and he was trembling when I first saw him. His dark eyes searched mine as I reached out to touch his hand and softly said to him "I am not here to condemn you."
That was the first time he cried.
I have never been one to waste time or mince words, especially when empowered by God, and I knew the time was now to speak out. I needed to let Alex know that my purpose in being there was to encourage him to move forward in his faith. I wanted him to know that the greatest thing that he could do behind those prison walls that would bring honor to Justin is to walk away from his former life and embrace all that God has planned. We talked about his own kids who were young children when he went to prison, who are now young men, making choices for their own lives.
Alex opened up to me and shared a lot of his heart. I am convinced of his sincerity and his remorse at the pain he has caused my family and his. He takes responsibility for what he has done and I could read between the lines that he is having a hard time receiving forgiveness. I said "Alex. Lay it down. Carrying this burden does nothing to bring my son back to me. It does nothing to make me feel better about this situation. The only purpose it serves it to keep you bound up. I want you to be free."
As his tears flowed, I thought about how I feel when I consider all the sin and shame that Jesus has forgiven me for. There are times that I am so overwhelmed that God could love me after all that I have done to hurt Him..sometimes I have a hard time receiving His forgiveness....and He says to me..."Lay it down, Pam. I want you to be free."
The somber reality of all the time Alex has left in that prison made me incredibly sad. Sad that a decision he made on a summers night 10 years ago snatched my son away from me, but also sealed his own fate with imprisonment. What a waste.
After praying with Alex, I walked out of the prison absolutely certain of this: NONE of us deserve to be pardoned. We all deserve to die without God's love and forgiveness. It is only by the Power of His love, grace and mercy that we find true freedom.
Thank you so much for your uplifting and courageous e-mail. This is Matt's Mom, Andrea, and i was so moved by your story. It takes a special kind of person to reach out to someone who has done such pemanent damage to your family and offer him the love and forgiveness that our Lord showed to us. You are an incredible witness! I am sorry for your loss, as I have also lost a son and know all of the emotions attached with grief and the hard road it is to navigate. However, I think the example that you set for that prisoner will be life-changing for him and a healing to you also. I couldn't imagine reaching out your hand and telling him you forgive him face to face--how utterly powerful. And that kind of act can only happen through the grace and movement of our God. I am going to mail your message to Matt as I believe it will bless him. If you would like to correspond mother to mother, (who have both lost sons) please feel free to e-mail me at writer956@comcast.net. Your post was beautiful and inspiring. Andrea Maher
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