Subconsciously these days, I find myself doing things naturally that I never did on the outside. This is because of numerous reasons, but mostly because of the fact that a day's routine and environment are always the same in prison. Some days vary in activity, but the time frames keep the limits and functions of that day frequently repetitious.
These new patterns of behavior that I now possess were birthed from discipline; the discipline of the system, and more so, the discipline of my mind. This training, that lends the opportunity to produce improvement in one's lifestyle-- or destruction-- eventually will become habitual.
I watch as numerous inmates continue with the habits that they formed on the street and take on new found habits established in prison: from excessive television viewing to sleeping all day. These same behaviors/habits will produce the same results.
For me, the habits formed through prayer and Bible study have brought me to my knees, not out of pain and despair, but out of respect and humble reverence to God. I know that when we discipline our behaviors to produce fruit on a daily basis, our actions will become habitual, and we will be more naturally inclined to be light to those around us, and attempt to love our neighbor as ourselves.
My environment cannot justly be depicted unless you experience it, and I fall daily because of the chaos (my temper, patience, and attitude are tried at every waking hour), but I have reformed my mind to bring my shortcomings to God immediately. I still have tons of habits to break and new habits to form. I know it's not gonna be easy, but I am and always will be a work in progress. The same habits will produce the same results. What habits are we allowing our environment to form in us?
~Disciplined by the system, broken by behavior, and habit-reformed by the Lord~
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